Yes, today is Monday, October 23, 2006.... MOLE DAY! You know... Avagadro's number... 6.02 x 10e23??? Yeah, I thought you did. We got to celebrate that today in Chemistry. This festivity is why I'm so freakin tired right now. I was up till about 12:30 last night trying to make a cake in the shape of a mole. It didn't work of course, which totally wasted my sleeping time and made me quite the pissed little lady this morning. I was also mad just because I found out how stressful High school is. Missing about a week in Housing and Algebra II made me realize how much I have to catch up on. I'm missing out on a project in 1st that may affect my grade (don't really know), and I don't get a ____ thing in Algebra II. To top it off, while I'm sitting there in Algebra reading my partner's notes to see what is going on and why I don't understand, some messenger kid delivers a note to me that says I'm qualified for the NHS (National Honor Society). Yes, it's flattering to see they like my grades and all, but when I looked at what I'm supposed to fill out, I was a little degraded. Some ramblings about clubs and stuff that I have no clue about and no time for really. By these entries, it will be determined whether or not I should be in this NHS. I pretty much lost hope for that. I'll still give it a try, I mean, I'm gonna be totally honest and just tell them straight up, I'm not in any clubs and I love doing volunteer work at my church... is that good enough? I dunno... guess we'll have to wait and see.

As I moved on through my day, from 2nd, to 3rd, I was anticipating the end of the day more and more. At least my last 2 classes (Spanish and Chemistry). Before I went into Engineering Graphics (sounds totally exciting, I know), I stopped by the bathroom to take a breath and kill some time before walking into that classroom I dislike stepping into. Once the other 2 people cleared out of the bathroom, I quietly said to God while looking in the mirror, "Help bring a smile to my face. And not just some quick smile; a real smile that lasts." Even last night I was praying for a flood of endorphines today. It's like I knew today wouldn't be the best of the best. I proceeded on into class, and made it through.

Then it was time for English. My spirits began to brighten as I stepped out of 3rd and began my walk towards the opposite side of the school. Then some guy acts like he wants to ask me a question when really he's just trying to get to know me cause I'm a girl and he's a boy and that's what school's all about. True, but I wasn't interested in dude, so I hid my brightening spirits and talked seriously, showing no interest in his attempt to gain attention or in his topic of conversation in the most polite way possible. I don't want to come across as a jerk, so I answered his questions as they came and gave him the answers he asked for. (It was all mainly about my experience at this school and is it harder or easier being a Senior at a new school). This guy seemed to follow me from one side of the school to the other, I was thinking he'd remember he has a class he needed to go to and break off, but nope, he stuck next to me the whole time. Thankfully, Shane walked up next to me. I made sure to pay attention to him, and not just because I was trying to shake off a dingle-berry, but because I have a spark of some friendship with this guy; something I've been looking for a while now. And not some romantic kind of friendship, but that friend who's there just to joke around with and stuff. Eventually, dude leaves and me and Shane enter 4th.

There was a substitute there today, 2nd one of the day for me. 1st one was old and was described as a turkey with whiskers. She was nice, but the whisker part was true. (I'm cracking up right now... I love this feeling). 4th period's sub was a little better. Pretty much because she called role, told us our assignment, and sat down. Easy to deal with. I began to break the frown and start to smile. With Shane and Matt, it's hard to keep a straight face. We talked about the story as we read it. I think it was a good story. I can't really remember the name, but when I do I will be sure to type it out on here along with a description of what I understood happened. Me and the few people around me discussed our answers and why we picked them. Me and Jacqueline had some disagreements on a few, but we got it all done. I didn't feel too confident on some of my answers, but all will be resolved tomorrow. I walked out of that classroom feeling alot better than the classes before.

5th was quite boring. Maybe a little interesting, but 98% boring. I found out I made an 81% on the test we took Friday. I wasn't too confident about that test. I only wrote down vocabulary and skimmed past a few main ideas; if I would've read my workbook, I could've made a far better grade. I was tired that night. Busy that morning. It all happened so fast. After Brownlee finished, I talked to the lesbian behind me about my memories of that one Christmas when it snowed. It was pretty funny actually. We talked about our attempts to build snowmen and how we learned (I almost spelt, learned: lurned, just now), the hard way, that you can't just run out to play in snow without hand warmers. Just the joy that comes with Christmas began bursting inside me. That's been happening a few days now. Just thinking about going downtown and enjoying the sights as me and Mom walk around with the cold chill shooting through our warm jackets. I LOVE THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT AND I CAN'T WAIT FOR IT TO GET HERE! Everybody out and about doing their Christmas shopping, stressing over little things like presents and food; smiles seen everywhere with that annoying holiday music playing on the speakers in the malls and stores. Ahh... clusters of endorphines are filling my heart now. I get chills just thinking of it. I guess the weather can also be a factor of these feelings. Random, unexpected cold fronts have been moving in and out. This current front has got me excited about the coming seasons.

After this joyful conversation, I head straight for lunch. I'm not shaking of hunger today, but I'm still hungry. --Think about the people who can only think that, but never feed themselves. Those are the people I want to reach out to. I want to share my blessings with the less fortunate so that they too can taste and see that God really is good.-- I found Bansari (new friend) walking towards me as I found my seat. I try to make it less of a challenge and chore, and more of a natural thing to just include her into my day. I want to make her feel welcome, if just by me, here at our school. I'm sure I've told you about her a few times already. She's already determined in her mind she hates this school and wants to go back to Missouri. I wouldn't blame her. Our school is pretty-not-so-welcoming to the newbies. I would know. But me and Jake have done a good job including her, I think. I hope I am. She's cool and I think I could have a friendship if I actually put an effort into it. She's got some different streaks in her, but, that doesn't mean I'll push her away. I want to get over that mountain and invite different friendships into my life. And I know when to draw the line. We talked about whatever. Then, Frodo as I like to call him, joined us in our worthwhile lunchtime today. He's pretty funny on a regular basis. It made the time all the more better. We had a bit of fun joking about the army recruiters walking around the cafeteria area. (I even got to tell them about sergeant Balls--actual name by the way). Once we got our gut-busting laughs, it was time to head up to 6th (Spanish for me). Once again, I was off...

Spanish was good today. I got some good laughs in there. (Notice how my day brightened more and more as I got away from 1st-3rd). These last few classes are my better classes. The ones I enjoy more on a daily basis. (Not really including 5th on a daily basis) The activity we did in Spanish was fun. Well, at least I found it fun. The atmosphere in Spanish is definitely a good one. A happy, carefree, mood-shifting, spirit-lifting kind of class. I give all credit to Mrs.Chandler and my fellow students for setting this atmosphere. A GREAT BIG BLESSING they all are!

Then, last but definitely not the least was Chemistry. Mrs.Berry has been an awesome teacher since the beginning. I will truly remember her as one of the best. She reminds me so so much of Mrs.Hughes, and I truly loved Mrs.Hughes not just for the teacher she was, but for the person she was. Both teachers have such a loving heart and I can only return the love. I'm not for sure, but I believe Mrs.Berry has some faith in the same God I have my faith in. Major plus! She really makes Chemistry the BEST SUBJECT IN THE PLANET! I never thought I'd say it, but I LOVE CHEMISTRY! Love it, love it, love it! We got to celebrate Mole day today with JUNK FOOD and wierd games that all revolved around either the ani-mole (hee hee, I cracked a corny), or the measurement of the mole (6.02x10e23). Games went from wack-a-mole, to mole-in-one and so on and so forth. Because of this festive event, I walked away thinking it was Friday. Too bad it isn't. I enjoyed my time with Paige and Taylor (my lab partners). The students there are also a good bunch of teens. Sometimes they're something to deal with, and other times I just love being around them.

I guess I can finally conclude this entry by saying, I am BLESSED with AWESOME people in my life. If it wasn't just for that little handful of the good in the bad, I doubt I'd make it through a day without smiling once, or laughing out loud from my gut. I need these people, or people like them, to get through life. I can't live without smiling. I have to smile, whether I have to fake it, or truly can't hold back. I need friends, not just social companions, but true, genuine FRIENDS. I have friends. The true genuine kind too.

GOD:
Thanks for the greatest life I've ever lived! Thanks for the people who make it worth living. Thanks for the reason you've given me to keep moving forward. Thank you for this breath I'm taking this very moment. Thanks for my family, and the blessing they are in themselves. Thanks for my church and the people it has in it who are deeply rooted into you to build me strong. Thanks for the desire to travel and do your work. I guess the easiest way to say it without saying too much is just, Thanks for everything you give me that I can't give myself. You're most definitely my source of life. I love you! Now and FOREVER! and ever and ever and ever and ever...

~Amen